TWENTY!!!

Today was my longest scheduled run before Chicago!  I'm not going to lie. I was nervous about heading out because I've been having IT band pain and I knew I would be running on some of those small rolling hills which sets off my SPD pain. 

So I set off as soon as the girls had sat down for breakfast and headed to my parents house. 

I walked up the hills to help combat the SPD pain which really threw off my average pace, but again, I'm not willing to really injure myself with Chicago being just a few weeks out! 

For the first time in my life I had to jump off the road and head into the woods...to poop!!!! Omg! I was so embarrassed!  I was SURE someone was going to be out on a Sunday morning walk and see me or something! Which is silly since I was in the boonies! 

I felt good as I was running. I had minim IT band pain but my SPD was painful. So I walked up every effing hill, and even though Michigan is flat, there are a lot of little hills!!! 

With just 4 miles left the girls and Jorden drove by me. I dumped my hydration pack with them and ran the last 4 miles with no extras which was freeing! 

I ran into my parents driveway SO stinking proud because I did it!! 

It felt so good! It took me longer than I really wanted it to, but I can't complain! 

I feel ready for Chicago. I feel like I have my hydration and nutrition down, I know what shorts and socks I'll be wearing. Now to just decide if I'm wearing my hydration belt, pack or flip belt. When I finished I felt like I could have kept going. I need to eat a bit bigger bowl of oatmeal before I head out because at mile 16 I was starving! 

Now it's time to taper!!!! 

Wedding Weekend

This weekend my friend Dani got married to the love of her life. I was so so so honored she had asked me to stand with her on her special day! 

My wedding day morning started out with my lime green socks in honor of Dani's favorite color and a quick 4 mile run. 

I had been a bit Leary to run again this week because of the pain I was experiencing after my run on Sunday. But at mile 4 when I stepped off the treadmill I was pain free! It was such a relief! And best of all?! No dirty mean thoughts making me question why the heck I'm doing a marathon!! Woo hoo!!

The wedding went off without a hitch! We had a wonderful time and I danced my heart out! But by the end of the night, dancing in flip flops, my left leg was hurting. 

Ugh. 

Thankfully I have an appointment to see Dr Trigger on Monday to see if he can help me with my IT band issues! I have a massage scheduled for in the morning too so hopefully that will help with the pain!

Stupid IT band!!

Sucky run

When you're scheduled to run 18 miles and you're a slow runner like me, you have to really schedule your time well. I was supposed to be at a 5k for support for myTeamTriumph in the morning so I decided after the 5k I would just do loops there to log my 18 miles. 

Only trouble was, the big girls were supplied to be at class so Jorden was taking them and I would be taking Mabrey with me. Which meant I had to run with her until they were done and Jorden could pick her up so I could finish out my run. 

So Mabrey and I ran 6 miles together. Then after Jorden left with her I continued on. But by mile 10 my left hip was popping and I was in so much pain. I pushed through but at 12 miles I felt like I was going to damage myself so I called it quits. 

I was so frustrated for quitting before I was truly done, but when I got home and went to climb out of the car I knew I made the right decision because my pubic symphysis was on FIRE and my left hip barely supported my weight. 

I wanted to cry. 

I immediately started questioning why I was trying to run a marathon!! Which, we all know that once you start questioning yourself it's hard to recover from that. So I came in, iced, stretched, rolled, and then climbed into bed. 

By the time I woke up for work I was feeling much better about life and about my run.

And heck yes!! I'm running a freaking marathon!!! 

Winner!!

It's not very often that I win something, but I love winning stuff! I mean really, who doesn't?!

Yesterday I was part way into my run when my friend texted me and told me that I had won a contest on the Iron Cowboy's facebook page!!

He had posted this picture and asked people to caption it

My caption : I'll pee over here, you pee over there! was one of the two winners! I guess I'm getting a tshirt out of it! So that's cool, because honestly I just saw the caption game and didn't pay attention to the fact that it was a giveaway!

I got the notification that I won about .2 miles into my run. It was supposed to be a 5 mile run so I had started out at a comfortable 10 minute pace because I really didn't feel like running and I didn't feel like pushing myself.  But once I knew I won that, and I know how awesome Iron Cowboy is I decided to push myself! So I cranked my speed up on the treadmill and took off! At 2.5 in I had to stop for a milk break, but then got back on and finished it out, a bit slower, but still feeling it! 

I'm happy any time my average pace is under 10 minutes. I know I'm not fast by many standards, but I'm happy with where I'm at right now. And, I'm improving every month and that's all I can really ask for! 

Next run is 18 miles....

Playing Hookey

I was supposed to run 12 miles this weekend, and I totally skipped it.  I'm not sure why. I just wasn't feeling it. I couldn't get my legs to get going when I headed out twice to try it.  I was extra exhausted too which didn't help.

I had been trying to avoid sugar, and I think that was playing into it big time because my body was craving sugar like woah.  It was rough.

I finally said forget that and went back to my normal sugar consuming ways. And I'm much happier!

Anyway, I skipped my long run so my long run this next weekend is going to s.u.c.k.

I'm Mad.

I'm mad today.

Every once and a while I sit down and think about my delivery and code and the after care and I just get so upset. 

Last night we were slow in the ER and my coworker asked to hear me share my story. He had never heard the whole thing and so I shared with my coworkers what I experienced. 

I made it through without breaking down, now mind you I did tear up and had to fight to get through portions of my story. It's hard reliving the worst experience of your life. It's hard verbalizing the fact that I will never be able to share my daughters birthday story with her. Ever.

 I effing hate that. 

And then as my coworkers hear the story and start discussing it amongst each other I realize how horrible it really was. 

I realize how negligent my nurse was. I realize how careless my OB doctor was for never coming back to round on me after having a major surgery. I see it from the side of our hospitals mission to strive for patient centered care. And bringing our heart to work and I can see clearly how that didn't happen on Mabrey's birthday. 

I get so mad. 

I get mad because I work so hard to provide the best damn care I can to everyone that I come in contact with. I work hard to show each patient that they are important and cared for. I try to make their family feel as though they are important in the patients care. I work so hard to give our hospital a name I am proud of. But then when people hear my story they reply with "well that's because you went to _____". 

That makes me mad!!

Because of careless caregivers all the hard work that I put forth into my work is totally washed away and the perception of the hospital is one that I'm not proud of. That just infuriates me!! 

Why should I go above and beyond? Why should I always do my very best? Why should  I provide the care I so desperately wanted to receive for myself? Why should I do all of that, if those who do not do what is expected of them can go along merrily working doing as they please, being negligent, ruining what should be a wonderful experience, with out any type of ramifications?!? 

It makes me mad. 

So mad!!

I feel like it's a pointless battle. I don't want to sue my hospital, I don't. It's not that. It's that I expect other nurses to provide the care they would want to receive. I expect everyone to be proud of their hospital. I expect the community to have an excellent perception of our hospital because I pour my soul into my job. I truly feel that if you're not willing to pour your heart into your work you should not be working. 

I'm just so mad today. And I hate being mad. I'm ready to sit down and confront my nurse. I have so much to say to her and I'm ready. 

I'm just. So. Mad. 

Stretching

I hate stretching.

I never do it.

Like ever.

It's so horribly bad and I probably shouldn't admit that I don't stretch, but its the truth!

I used to go to a Yin Yoga for athletes once a week, but I stopped going about 30 weeks pregnant because it wasn't comfortable anymore. I keep wanting to get back to it, but I just can't seem to get my schedule to work out and do it. Hopefully next week I can start back!

I was to the point where I could lay my hands flat on the floor when bending over.  Now, I have about 6 inches between the tips of my fingers and the floor!! It's horrible!

My left IT band is tight as can be, so I really need to work on that.

This morning I had planned to get up and run but I got out of bed and my legs were so so so tight I could hardly walk comfortably.  So instead of running I spent 1.5 hours stretching. I feel much better now, but my legs are tight!

Its time to get into a good stretching routine! What I'd really like is someone to just come stretch me out! Anyone want to help me with that? Or pay for some massages!?

I really need a sponsor... ;)