Winner!!

It's not very often that I win something, but I love winning stuff! I mean really, who doesn't?!

Yesterday I was part way into my run when my friend texted me and told me that I had won a contest on the Iron Cowboy's facebook page!!

He had posted this picture and asked people to caption it

My caption : I'll pee over here, you pee over there! was one of the two winners! I guess I'm getting a tshirt out of it! So that's cool, because honestly I just saw the caption game and didn't pay attention to the fact that it was a giveaway!

I got the notification that I won about .2 miles into my run. It was supposed to be a 5 mile run so I had started out at a comfortable 10 minute pace because I really didn't feel like running and I didn't feel like pushing myself.  But once I knew I won that, and I know how awesome Iron Cowboy is I decided to push myself! So I cranked my speed up on the treadmill and took off! At 2.5 in I had to stop for a milk break, but then got back on and finished it out, a bit slower, but still feeling it! 

I'm happy any time my average pace is under 10 minutes. I know I'm not fast by many standards, but I'm happy with where I'm at right now. And, I'm improving every month and that's all I can really ask for! 

Next run is 18 miles....

Playing Hookey

I was supposed to run 12 miles this weekend, and I totally skipped it.  I'm not sure why. I just wasn't feeling it. I couldn't get my legs to get going when I headed out twice to try it.  I was extra exhausted too which didn't help.

I had been trying to avoid sugar, and I think that was playing into it big time because my body was craving sugar like woah.  It was rough.

I finally said forget that and went back to my normal sugar consuming ways. And I'm much happier!

Anyway, I skipped my long run so my long run this next weekend is going to s.u.c.k.

I'm Mad.

I'm mad today.

Every once and a while I sit down and think about my delivery and code and the after care and I just get so upset. 

Last night we were slow in the ER and my coworker asked to hear me share my story. He had never heard the whole thing and so I shared with my coworkers what I experienced. 

I made it through without breaking down, now mind you I did tear up and had to fight to get through portions of my story. It's hard reliving the worst experience of your life. It's hard verbalizing the fact that I will never be able to share my daughters birthday story with her. Ever.

 I effing hate that. 

And then as my coworkers hear the story and start discussing it amongst each other I realize how horrible it really was. 

I realize how negligent my nurse was. I realize how careless my OB doctor was for never coming back to round on me after having a major surgery. I see it from the side of our hospitals mission to strive for patient centered care. And bringing our heart to work and I can see clearly how that didn't happen on Mabrey's birthday. 

I get so mad. 

I get mad because I work so hard to provide the best damn care I can to everyone that I come in contact with. I work hard to show each patient that they are important and cared for. I try to make their family feel as though they are important in the patients care. I work so hard to give our hospital a name I am proud of. But then when people hear my story they reply with "well that's because you went to _____". 

That makes me mad!!

Because of careless caregivers all the hard work that I put forth into my work is totally washed away and the perception of the hospital is one that I'm not proud of. That just infuriates me!! 

Why should I go above and beyond? Why should I always do my very best? Why should  I provide the care I so desperately wanted to receive for myself? Why should I do all of that, if those who do not do what is expected of them can go along merrily working doing as they please, being negligent, ruining what should be a wonderful experience, with out any type of ramifications?!? 

It makes me mad. 

So mad!!

I feel like it's a pointless battle. I don't want to sue my hospital, I don't. It's not that. It's that I expect other nurses to provide the care they would want to receive. I expect everyone to be proud of their hospital. I expect the community to have an excellent perception of our hospital because I pour my soul into my job. I truly feel that if you're not willing to pour your heart into your work you should not be working. 

I'm just so mad today. And I hate being mad. I'm ready to sit down and confront my nurse. I have so much to say to her and I'm ready. 

I'm just. So. Mad. 

Stretching

I hate stretching.

I never do it.

Like ever.

It's so horribly bad and I probably shouldn't admit that I don't stretch, but its the truth!

I used to go to a Yin Yoga for athletes once a week, but I stopped going about 30 weeks pregnant because it wasn't comfortable anymore. I keep wanting to get back to it, but I just can't seem to get my schedule to work out and do it. Hopefully next week I can start back!

I was to the point where I could lay my hands flat on the floor when bending over.  Now, I have about 6 inches between the tips of my fingers and the floor!! It's horrible!

My left IT band is tight as can be, so I really need to work on that.

This morning I had planned to get up and run but I got out of bed and my legs were so so so tight I could hardly walk comfortably.  So instead of running I spent 1.5 hours stretching. I feel much better now, but my legs are tight!

Its time to get into a good stretching routine! What I'd really like is someone to just come stretch me out! Anyone want to help me with that? Or pay for some massages!?

I really need a sponsor... ;)