Tri Goddess Tri

Earlier today I completed my first Triathlon of the 2015 season!!  8 Weeks ago I had just had a c-section and gone into respiratory arrest and look at me now!!

So my whole pregnancy I tried to stay super active so that jumping back into training after having Mabrey would be a cinch.  For the most part it's been alright.  My endurance is crap, but that's to be expected. My pubic bone still really hurts while I run so I have to take the run a lot slower and walk a lot more than I would like, but it's all good because I'm out there. I'm moving. I'm breathing.

The day started off great. I was so excited about the swim because in my pool training swims I'd done the distance in 20ish minutes depending on the day. I knew that this would probably be a bit slower than that but I was so ready! Last year I did the whole swim breaststroke so this year I wanted to do the whole thing freestyle.

About 1/2 way between the first two buoys I lost my vision. I couldn't see the water, I couldn't see other swimmers, nothing.  I started treading water as that familiar panicked feeling overtook me. I went into a full flashback, I could see the doctors and the nurses...but not the swimmers around me. Someone or a couple someones stopped and asked me if I was okay and I couldn't answer them. I could hardly breath. My heart was pounding out.of.control.  My goggles were filling with tears.

Slowly my vision started to return and I saw that a kayak had paddled close to me. I was so tempted to head over to it, but I knew that if that kayaker saw my face they would pull me because I was SO panicked.

I gave myself a pep talk.  "Pull it together Kristin. You can do this distance.  You can MAKE it around the buoy. Start swimming or they are going to pull you. Start moving forward. You're okay. Keep going."

So I slowly made my way toward the buoy. I told myself I could rest at the buoy.  At the turn I flipped to my back and slowed my breathing and slowly started to backstroke.  I went so slowly. Tears just flowing. Hiccuping from crying. I was a mess.

I was finally able to flip onto my belly and go but I couldn't put my face in the water. Something about the darkness and KNOWING I couldn't breath under the water set me into panic. So again, I breast stroked the whole dang thing.

I got out of the water and huffed my way up to transition. There I was able to drink some water and eat a couple bites of granola bar as I got ready to bike.

The bike went great. I was slower than I wanted but again I just kept reminding myself that I was alive. I was breathing. I needed to Celebrate Every Breath!!  I was disappointed when I found my average speed was 14.5 mph, I had felt like I pushed myself so much harder than that!!

Transition 2 was slower. I had tried to dry myself off a touch even though it was raining. I don't know why. Then my shoe came untied just as I was ready to head out so I stopped to retie.

The run was a run/walk. My pubic bone was on fire.  But I kept going. I didn't stop. I pushed through to get to the end. I knew I was way past my time from last year and I was closing in on that two hour mark. I was so mad that I was going so slow!

As I got closer to the finish the tears started again. So many tears were shed over this course. So many. It was a bit ridiculous.

I came into the parking lot where I saw friends who had already finished and were cheering for me. I pushed through but the tears kept flowing. As soon as I came across the finish line my group came over and I lost it. I was a mess. After I explained what happened I took a few minutes to collect myself.  Then I rejoined our group to cheer the last few in.

I left the race feeling deflated. Feeling Mad. But thankful. 8 weeks ago I nearly died. And while this may not have been my best performance, I did it.


As for the results:

Swim : 29:54 (Goal time 20 minutes)
T1: 1:49 (Goal time 1:30)
Bike: 42:12 (Goal time 38 minutes)
T2: 1:57 (Goal time 1:30)
Run: 35:25 (Goal time 30 minutes)

Total time: 1:51:19