Code Blue

I went in around 530am on April 15 to start the process of having a c-section to deliver our third child. As I was prepped the OB came in and went over what was going to happen, then the Anesthesiologist came in and talked to me, followed by the CRNA who was to do my anesthesia for the surgery.  She went over everything with me and went through the whole surgery in depth with me as to what I could expect and when, I felt very comfortable going into the surgical suite with my nurse.

The delivery went off without a hitch, we did a gentle c-section and I was able to have skin to skin time with our sweet new GIRL immediately after she was born. It was blissful - it truly was. About 10 minutes after she was delivered while they were still working to sew me up I suddenly got very nauseated and panicked feeling. Jorden grabbed Mabrey from me and I began dry heaving into a towel while the CRNA gave me some nausea medication. I felt better but kind of felt groggy, but I didn't think anything of it.

This is where things get sketchy for me.

I have a very vague memory of being taken to the recovery room. I vaguely remember our cousin, who was our photographer, coming into the room and being SO excited that it was a girl. I remember them weighing Mabrey and telling me that she was 7lbs 7oz.

The next thing I remembered was approximately an hour later when I was being taken to my room I reminded Jorden to push the button that plays a lullaby throughout the hospital signaling that a baby was just born.

Then I remember talking to my mom, and suddenly stopping myself because I was talking about the roads that lead to camelot and my cousin Kate. I remember telling her "I don't know what I'm talking about" and my mom laughing and then saying "You haven't made much sense all day".

My next memory is one that will be burned into my memory forever.

The lights came up and it was SO bright, like when you've stared at the sun for too long and everything looks kind of white and shimmery.  I could hear a lot of voices, none that I could place and nothing made sense. I then heard someone way "She's still only at 78%, keep bagging her". I tried to focus my eyes because I could see silhouettes of people standing there, but I couldn't figure out who anyone was. Then I recognized the ICU Dr.

Everything went grey again and the sound faded into the background. I remember feeling calm and tired.

Then I felt some intense pressure in my chest and mouth and the bight lights came back up. Then I heard the ER resident (who happened to be on his ICU rotation) say "Someone give me the $*@# tube!" and then my thoughts started to click together.

I thought "Who are we coding?!"

Then I realized, oh my goodness! Thats Dr. M from ICU!!

And just as I was starting to put together that they were working on ME I felt the pressure in my chest and mouth again and realized they were bagging ME!! They were trying to intubate ME!!!!

As soon as all those thoughts came together I was feeling someone pulling on my mouth and I threw my hands up to stop them. As soon as I made the movements I started to realize that people were saying my name, yelling at me to wake up, yelling at me to answer them, asking if I was okay.

They quickly sat me up in the bed and I looked around, so totally confused because here were all these night shift OB nurses looking panicked, the ICU team, Respiratory therapists, the two house supervisors and a handful of other doctors and hospital personnel. But my family was no where in the room.

One of the respiratory therapists realized that it was ME and she looked at me and said "oooo girl, I'm going to punch you!"

I remember asking what happened, then realizing what had happened and immediately I started asking Dr K, the ER resident, "Did I throw a PE? Did I have an amniotic embolis? Did I take too many pain meds?!" And he told me "We don't know, we are trying to figure it out."

I was sobbing feeling like I couldn't breath, and I kept saying "I can't breath, but I know I am" so I received a breathing treatment.

At some point I had asked for Jorden and he came back into the room. I have never seen my husband like that. Another image I will never forget. He was obviously terrified and upset, crying so hard and came over and started kissing my head and hugging me. I kept telling him "I'm so sorry! I know you hate medical stuff!! I'm so sorry! I don't know what happened!! I'm so sorry!" I don't know how many times I told him that but he finally told me to stop it!

The OB and Anesthesiologist came rushing into my room, they had been in the middle of the surgery when the code was initially called out so they came as soon as they could.  When they arrived the Dr's all started to discuss what had happened and tried to figure out why I had stopped breathing. They decided that the medication they used for my epidural was something that I never metabolized and/or was allergic to and that stayed in my CSF fluid working its way up until it finally suppressed my respiratory drive and I just quit breathing.

They started discussing moving me to CCU, I was begging to take Mabrey with me, but they told me that wasn't possible. I was so upset that I wouldn't be able to nurse her. They said I could pump but if I didn't have any milk pumped they could give her donor milk. I asked to nurse her one last time before I was moved so they all agreed that was good. I fed her and just sat there totally dazed and confused.

I don't remember being put on the CCU bed, but I do have a vague memory of being wheeled down the hall and stopping to say goodbye to Ryleigh and Coraline. Coraline wouldn't hug or kiss me and that broke my heart. Both girls looked SO scared.

When we arrived in CCU I remember a chaplain coming in and praying for me and praying for peace for my family. I remember Dr K coming back in to talk to me and suddenly feeling him hit my leg telling me to wake up.  They then started a narcan drip which woke me up.

So many of my coworkers came up to talk to me and we were all able to calm down and start to process what happened. It was totally overwhelming.  Over the course of the night Jorden went up to feed Mabrey which made me so sad and jealous that I couldn't do it. Around 3 I finally decided I should sleep so I laid the bed down and when I got just about flat my brain freaked out and so I sat right back up and stayed upright the rest of the night. I think I got maybe an hour of sleep that night.

The CCU doctors did some research and found that the reaction I had to the Duramorph that they used for my spinal is VERY rare. I'm one in a million. They asked Jorden what I had been like throughout the day and he said I had been off all day and he and my family had been complaining to the nurse in OB and she had never done anything. They both said that this was going to be something we have to check out and work on because that should have never happened.

Talk about the most eventful delivery I have ever had!!